I could measure my life in the stories I've read and written--Goodreads captures a lot of them. I could measure my life in relationships or events that have represented turning points for me. My journals capture many of those. I could measure my life in the paintings I've painted, pictures I've taken, dishes I've made, and rituals I've participated in.
I could measure my life by the events that have cracked me open and left me wondering who I am. I could measure my life by the times I've sat in a circle where I felt safe enough to be vulnerable and authentic. I could measure my life in the ways I've practiced attachment to outcome or caused harm to others, unintentionally and intentionally.
I could measure my life by the moments in which I have felt unbearable shame or pain.
I could measure my life by the moments in which I felt like I was fully, wonderfully alive.
I could measure my life by the times when I've said "I love you" with such fullness of heart that I thought I would burst.
I could measure my life by the times I've compared one person to another, or one relationship to another, failing to see the other despire all my efforts to capture their essence.
I could measure my life by my my to-do lists.
I could measure my life by my breath.
I could also release the impulse to measure at all.
I'm excited to be forty years old. I wouldn't trade this moment in my life for any other because I have the benefit of having learned from numerous beautiful and devastating experiences. From here, all that remains is the opportunity to live whatever life I have left, free from attachment to outcome and free to value myself and others. I don't think I've ever been more happy to be alive. ♥
How do you measure a year in the life?